Friday, July 2 @ Sofitel Hotel Melbourne.
6pm
The Fitzroy Room.
Senior Coach Chris Fagan is briefing players and staff on the details of Saturday’s FIFO strike mission for four premiership points at the Adelaide Oval. After a week of twists and turns, including the potential of the game being shifted to Melbourne, and later the prospect of the Lions undergoing their final pre-game Covid test in Melbourne before departing, the coach reveals we are back where we started. Upon arrival in Adelaide, we will be tested and quarantined in the indoor nets at the Adelaide Oval until the entire 51 strong travelling party return negative results.
6.30pm
Dinner is served and despite the news we’ve just received that tomorrow is going to be a looooooong day, the mood in the room is upbeat. The usual suspects are at it. Charlie Cameron is cracking gags that the Civic Reception he would normally receive on a return to Adelaide has been cancelled due to Covid. Dayne Zorko suggests everyone should take a peek at his record on Adelaide Oval. “I’ve probably kicked more goals than you have there Chuckie,’’ he quips. It wasn’t that long ago the Lions copped a 138 hiding by the Crows at Adelaide Oval. Those scars have long since healed. The only mention of that dark night comes from former Crow JL who remembered it was his 50th AFL game. Tomorrow he’ll play 150 against his old club.
Fages sits and quietly observes his charges, probably wishing he could bottle some of the energy in the room in case it’s needed tomorrow afternoon.
It’s not too long before the ubiquitous post-dinner game of cricket starts, with Ben Hudson throwing balls to Eric Hipwood who is deliberately angling catches to a slips cordon, including Jaxon Prior, Jarryd Lyons and Dev Robertson. The reflexes are elite. You’d expect them to be, with the game played all season long between training sessions and meetings. Road trips are no exception. If the Lions decided to enter a team in an off-season indoor cricket tournament, they’d be hard to beat. The need for speed has taken the game to new levels this year. The space limitations in the Gabba kick room where matches are played wreaks havocs on the run-ups for the quicks in the team. So, necessity being the mother of all invention, JL, Richie and Hippy devised a plan. Instead of bowling, players now serve with a tennis racquet. Back home at the Gabba batsmen and the slips are now regularly faced with 120km thunderbolts. “My hands have never been sharper,’’ JL reckons. When the contest is wedged between dining tables in the team hotel, the wise decision is made to revert back to a more traditional game.
With an early flight ahead, the cricket peters out a bit quicker than usual and in a few hours the hotel is in quiet. The only movement comes from the lonely figure trudging laps of the 140m corridor around the fifth floor. It’s Fages and he clocks 50 laps before bed. As an avid walker who is known to spend hours each morning and night on the pavement, hotel quarantine poses a different sort of challenge for the coach. When asked at breakfast on Thursday how many push-ups and sit up he’d been getting through, the coach succinctly replied “a few”.
Saturday, July 3.
6am
One by one the players filter into the dining room for breakfast ahead of what is going to be an 18 hour day. There’s not a whole lot of talking as coffees are made and breakfasts wolfed down. It’s game day and while everyone is relaxed, there’s a subtle shift in the mood. The boys mean business. At 6.45am we file onto the bus for the trip to the airport. The captain is one of the last on, eliciting a few chuckles as he declares “Never fear, Zorks is here” as he makes his way to his customary position up the back. While Fages is always up the front and likes to be the last to get off the bus, Zorko and “The Chief” Harris Andrews always take up the back row. Richie, Robbo and Rhys Mathieson are usually nearby and it’s fair to say that’s the noisiest and funniest end of the bus.
The bus drives onto the tarmac at the airport and we file off and straight onto our charter to Adelaide. At least Covid has given us a glimpse of what life must be like for a rock band.
9am
Adelaide Airport
It’s a different arrival to usual in Adelaide, as we are greeted by the South Australian Police Force and escorted to the nearby Airport Hotel that has been commandeered as our Covid testing centre. Footy Manager Danny Daly informs the side that there will be an order to the tests, our third tests this week. Huddo immediately proposes tallest to shortest, but the decision is made to test alphabetically, drawing a whoop from the Chief who realizes he’s just scored valuable points in his long-running rivalry with Zorko. Everything is a contest to these guys. Our footy analyst Brendan Zhou makes his feelings known with a hilarious post to the travelling parties’ WhatsApp group. Spirits are kept high thanks to Dale Tapping who was forced to endure a repeat dose after his tester accidentally dropped his sample.
I wonder if Aviation legend Bert Hinkler, the first man to fly solo from England to Australia, would be happy to know the room named in his honour is now a makeshift medical centre.
10.20am
Adelaide Oval. Indoor cricket nets.
We are to quarantine here until every test returns a negative. Charlie Cameron is on a massage table before the last player is off the bus. Some players choose to nap on the collection of beanbags that has been left for our comfort, others pull out laptops or phones and settle in for some Netflix action. It doesn’t take long before the cricket starts up again. McCluggage, Zorko, Bailey and Hipwood are never far from the action whenever there’s any kind of sport to be played. CEO Greg Swann’s head is nearly taken off by a sweetly timed cover drive from strength and conditioning guru Dirk Spits. Mitch Lane, the Club’s hard-working Covid Safety Officer gets busy filling out the forms that will allow us to play and then clear our passage back into Melbourne later tonight. Everyone has another document to fill in. Meanwhile, Fages whacks on the headphones and starts walking. Up and down the nets he marches, weaving in and out of the dining tables at the back of the room. Someone jokes that we need a heat map or Telstra Tracker to keep tabs on him.
12.30pm
Captain Dayne Zorko does a FaceTime cross into Fox Footy to update hosts Dermott Brereton, Anthony Hudson and David King on the team’s unusual schedule. Jarrod Berry and Matho crack the boys up when they wander past in the background, masks on and hoods drawn tightly, prompting the trio into a guessing game. Brereton picks Matho immediately but Bez has to complete a few laps before the boys back in the studio work it out. Dermie then turns the tables on Zorko when he paints a verbal picture of Fages walking along a beach in his Sluggos. Dayne played along with the joke, but once the segment ended, he wandered off muttering “Geez if we lose, I hope the coach never sees that.”
2pm.
Visitors Changerooms, the Adelaide Oval.
Officials inform us we are able to head across to the changerooms to begin preparations. Masks are to be worn at all times and the players are only allowed to stretch their legs on one wing of the Adelaide Oval until all the tests are returned negative.
2.38pm.
The first texts from Clinpath Pathology start to trickle in. Within 15mins the entire squad is cleared meaning the game can officially go ahead.
South Australian Government rules prohibit anyone from the Lions having any contact with members of the public and there’s a shortage of seats for the travelling party. With no other options Swannie settles to watch the game with the emergency players and media team in the players’ race. It’s a long way from Swannie’s usual vantage point but he takes it in good stride.
6.45pm.
There are minutes to go before the final siren in what has been a commanding 52 point victory over Danny Daly spreads the word he wants everyone in the touring party to join the circle for the team song. It is a rare experience for many staff and the way the players embraced the idea really hammers home the brilliant culture within the club.
6.50pm – 8pm.
The footy club is always a great place to be after a win but there was something special in the air on Saturday night as we waited to depart the stadium. The music was blaring and the mood was high as coaches, players and staff FaceTimed loved ones back home.
There’s a lot of gear to be transported around the country every time the Lions play away, and in true Lion style, everyone chips in to help the property team load up the track. Dan Rich, who still has an imprint of Crows’ bigman Taylor Walker’s head on his hip from a heavy collision in the game, limps out with two massive laundry bags. The property team had left the hotel at 5am and will be an hour or so later than the rest of the crew returning. They would later be unanimously voted as the best on ground for the day.
8pm
We board the bus for the airport and, not for the first time this season, our CEO rises to address the group. He informs us we won’t be allowed home until at least Tuesday. For many of the team, the rest of the trip is spent breaking the news to loved ones back in Brisbane.
11.45pm.
Perth Ballroom. Sofitel Melbourne.
It’s a quiet journey back to Melbourne as we head back to the hotel for our second Covid test of the day. Dinner is waiting for them and so too is a surprise for the travelling squad. List manager Dom Ambrogio and veteran Ryan Lester, who did not make the trip to Adelaide, have stocked the fridges in the ballroom with some liquid refreshments.
Making the most of the downtime, the group sit around and enjoy a few late-night drinks, secure in the knowledge they’ll get a sleep in tomorrow. Hippy is the team’s match day DJ and is happy to assume the role for this impromptu gathering.
Sunday, July 4.
Perth Ballroom, Sofitel Melbourne
1.15am
The last test is done, but the gathering doesn’t immediately break-up. Stories and jokes are told, songs were sung and the circle slowly dwindles until at some point in the wee hours, the most unique matchday in the Club’s history draws to a close.
